The brown eye won't let me do that either.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
