Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
