you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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