im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
