i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
