I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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