"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize