one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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