i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
