Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
