That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
