I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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