U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
