Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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