3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
