She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
