I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
