So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
