I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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