I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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