4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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