She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
