Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize