In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
