i don't like sucking hair
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
