Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
