PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i came on her dog
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
