hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
3pm strippers are depressing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
