shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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