Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
