Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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