I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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