I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
