You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
