I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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