Swine flu. Run for my life!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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