why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize