he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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