I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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