Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
