Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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