Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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