ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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