just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
