There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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