i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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