Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
