Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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