halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
