It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
