I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
