member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
