I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
