i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
