dude i'm inner monologue high
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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