Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
