Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
