i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize