Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
