I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Be still, my beating vagina.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
