I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
