Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
