RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
