do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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