i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
