i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize