They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
