when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
