There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
