you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
