in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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