I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
