Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
