Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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