We're facebook friends in real life
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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