Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
