Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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