It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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