Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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