I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
